Category: Archive
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Limbic Threat 🎧
I have a graphto show youlike where a stock iswhen it’s about tobreak out lowerthrough the support leveland I’m blinking at the screenlistening to my office neighboryell at someone on the phone,a glass of sparkling water,a pencil I just sharpened,a post-it on my monitorwith a mantra on it.I laugh at a joke I’ve heardtoo many…
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Rapunzel
You were gold-spun hair and tiny limbs and big, expressive hazel eyes, and dare I say, gold-spun skin?! You had pixie dust in your bloodstream, and it wasn’t from all the handmade princess dresses in the perfectly curated closet your mother kept for you. It was just you. You were only three in these memories…
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Ernest
I see Ernest slowly make his way around the hospital floor. He is (I’m guessing) on his first lap, and it’s shaky. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s not even five a.m. or because his condition is worsening. When you stay in a hospital, time becomes something strange. For me, a visitor, it’s defined…
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Archived
my hair is getting longerand my body keeps getting smallerI make boring appointmentsreceive compliments I want to return,but I don’t want to seem contrived.what I really want?is this parking lot to be empty,so I can dance to this song.I’ll settle for memory mining, though my co-author prefers meto stay silent. he’ll say:shh, get back in…
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Cenerentola
When I was very, very little, I have a memory of being very, very sick and being held by my mom, who is (by all definitions) the best mom in the entire world. She didn’t panic when you were hurt. She flew into calm, focused action. The type of mom who attacked you with kisses…
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Cherry + Espresso
I pick up Gigion the strip of road with no sidewalkand I unintentionally strut,wearing the short-shorts I slept inand a shirt that the breeze blows through,my chin forward and my shoulders back.I carry her snugin between my ribs and my hip.I can feel her back legsdangling behind meand I suppress a laughthat ends up as…
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a Bee in the Sand 🎧
Collecting moments from a snippet or a slow scene, as if they were rocks I could turn over in my hand and spot their individuality the way the light catches on one or the coarse texture of another. I want to look at them all at once and line them up, just to say: This?…
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The Benefits of Turmeric
The first night we fell asleep together, I said, “Holy shit. We fit.” Because we do. I’d been in the arms of someone else before you. It wasn’t the same— not as perfect, not as dizzying, not as safe. Or as unnervingly addictive. I watch you talk to people, your whole body leaned into them.…
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Muovi il culo, è Pasqua 🎧
I love the way we sort of free falldown the stairs in the morningsfor our walk.But especiallyon holiday mornings.I think about someone my ageawake to watch their childrenexperience the plastic sensationsof their Easter basketwhile they sip a coffee.But for me, it’s different—and this isn’t to say one version isbetter or worse.I love the stillnessthe normally…
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A sparkling powder in a puff
when I was nine,I wrote a pleading letter to my sister who at seventeen, maybe eighteen,had left our familyto live with her birth father. I didn’t know what I was feelingwas abandonment. I wanted to be her.But like an elder sibling sometimes is,she moved through the worldwith a kind of flickerelusive,hard to predict,often difficult to…
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Upon our shore?
I get a text message from a number I don’t recognize that says: Cameuponourshore and I’m intrigued because WHAT DOES IT MEAN? I must know. So I immediately write back… only to receive a photo of an alligator. I realize, oh! It’s the sweet neighbor whose number I should’ve saved (and still haven’t). There is…
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Throw a punch (II) 🎧
I text Sam: “Boxing class = done.” She replies with a prompt, “WOO!!!” Then, “How was it?”—followed by an image of a tarot card pulled for a Libra (my sun sign): The Four of Wands. Beneath it: “There’s something worth celebrating right now, whether you realize it or not. So bring everyone together in the…
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Throw a punch (I)
I shall be fighting a heavy bag in precisely one hour. It only took me nine days to follow through. It will be the first time wrapping my hands and putting on boxing gloves. Not the first time throwing a punch. And definitely not the first time visualizing how good I imagine it feels wearing…
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oh, woe is me 🎵
Can I be vulnerable for a sec? Oh, I’m already vulnerable? Thank you for reading me, whoever you are. Even if you just skim a paragraph, or roll your eyes at a sentence. Thank you for any moment where you exhale and think, “That was good,” or “That was funny,” or if there was even…
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I did it for the sloth 🎧
Why add audios? I could say it’s for accessibility purposes, but I read a comment in a blogging community that basically said they already have software for screen reading. I suppose I just like the act of reading my words. Making them feel less serious or heavy. I think back on my third grade self.…
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Drafts
These are some drafts that I rarely revisit or tweak. They all felt complete. 📝 ONE Six years ago, me and three of my girlfriends did yoga on my deck. We each set up our phones at the top of our mats and pressed play. It was the final class from a thirty-day challenge I…
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Tagging my dreams 🎧
I couldn’t find my silky sleep mask and was too tired to look for it, so guess who had trouble sleeping? When I finally fell asleep I was treated to unsettling dreams. I’ve noticed this recurring dream pattern for me, where I’m responsible for my niece. I used to regularly dream of a towering wave.…
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Boxing 🎧
Back in December, I signed up for a boxing class but had to cancel due to a lower back situation. I kept wondering when I’d sign up again. The owners were super engaging—not in a pushy way. But January had me tending to core work. I dedicated a lot of time to high planks (favorite),…
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Meatball Harry 🎧
My emotions are much louder than hers. Sometimes I wonder if I come off as inauthentic, but as I age, so ages my conviction, and I know that I’m not. Next to her, I’m a weeping willow: emotive, romantic, maybe a bit dramatic. But she’s a windswept cypress tree. Uncommon and haunting. They’re not showy…
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Summer Baby
It’s too cold for late March in Tampa. I want to be hot. Not in a climate change kinda way (zero waste / vegan, please). I want my skin exposed to warmth wrapping around me. I want the privilege of knowing that whatever space I put myself in can be cooled when I feel like…
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Rituals
The end of our walk starts with my daily encouragement to hurry Gigi home by telling her she’s going to get second breakfast. This doesn’t really help at all (she still stops and sticks her face in every damn thing), nor does it discourage her from barking at the passing cars or bike riders on…