chrissy.city

my city, my rules

Category: Family

  • Hymn

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    It was your child I held in my arms, beneath a sky full of fireworks I wish the stars could match, if we’d let them. When he was smaller, he called me Cwissy. He would’ve said your first name the same way, but you were Dad. Oh, there’s something about names. In your blue eyes,…

  • believe while I tremble

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    “And you came here at 5:55 am. I’m glad you have somewhere to put your feelings, even if it’s just this.” The parking garage is cold when I hug my cousin’s warm body. I don’t tear up because I know I will talk to her again soon. I will plan a trip to see her…

  • Thought Carousel

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    Instead of swiping through a photo collection with the caption “Lately!” or “2025,”here are six thoughts from the week between Christmas and New Year’s. Peppermint spirits in my coffee. Arranging my mother’s fresh-baked cookies on her dessert table: Earl Grey shortbread, cranberry almond biscotti, dark chocolate–chocolate chip. Realizing, shit, the paper doilies on the table…

  • La Luce

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    a list of lightness.

  • my Talisman

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    And my favorite, a piece of selenite (Satin Spar), sacred to Selene, the Greek goddess of the moon.

  • Under the Wallpaper

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    where the newly plain walls smelled of Pear Glacé, a heavy lotion I’d steal and lather over my legs, stretched across celadon carpet that reeked of sneakers worn without socks.

  • Are You the Twin?

    Are You the Twin?

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    on parallel lives, stitched close, split wide, stitched again.

  • Fortune July

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    on the Fourth of July, familial love, & joy, despite awareness of broader societal issues.

  • Skin Therapy

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    “Not only is she empathizing, she’s already thinking of the sentence that will soothe me. It might be hilarious, or it might be the most grounding thing I need. It’s beautiful, how clearly I can count on that.”

  • Han Solo

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    He was the baby of our family, and he wanted to be seen and heard. One boy vs. three girls. I remember one time in the mudroom of our grandparents’ home, I was sitting on the couch and he was being playful. He had this small white bear dressed as a clown with spotted dots…

  • Rapunzel

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    You were gold-spun hair and tiny limbs and big, expressive hazel eyes, and dare I say, gold-spun skin?! You had pixie dust in your bloodstream, and it wasn’t from all the handmade princess dresses in the perfectly curated closet your mother kept for you. It was just you. You were only three in these memories…

  • Cenerentola

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    When I was very, very little, I have a memory of being very, very sick and being held by my mom, who was (by all definitions) the best mom in the entire world. She didn’t panic when you were hurt. She flew into calm, focused action. The kind of mom who attacked you with kisses…

  • a Bee in the Sand 🎧

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    Collecting moments from a snippet or a slow scene, as if they were rocks I could turn over in my hand and spot their individuality the way the light catches on one or the coarse texture of another. I want to look at them all at once and line them up, just to say: This?…

  • Meatball Harry 🎧

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    My emotions are much louder than hers. Sometimes I wonder if I come off as inauthentic, but as I age, so ages my conviction, and I know that I’m not. Next to her, I’m a weeping willow: emotive, romantic, maybe a bit dramatic. But she’s a windswept cypress tree. Uncommon and haunting. They’re not showy…

  • Summer Baby

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    It’s too cold for late March in Tampa. I want to be hot. Not in a climate change kinda way (zero waste / vegan, please). I want my skin exposed to warmth wrapping around me. I want the privilege of knowing that whatever space I put myself in can be cooled when I feel like…

  • Gertrude 🎧

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    I’m procrastinating. I have about four hours (or more, depending on my focus level) of homework that I could have spaced out between today and yesterday, but instead, I spent yesterday lying in the sunshine, doing laundry, and fake-reluctantly agreeing to a delivery from our favorite vegan restaurant in Tampa. This is supposedly my nineteenth…

  • You’re number one 🎧

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    One of our clients has Alzheimer’s, and her children are having to put her in memory care. I also learned that, unbeknownst to her, she has stage four brain cancer. Sometimes I wonder how I ended up in a career like this—one where life events pop up often enough to force you into a headspace…

  • Chickadee 🎧

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    I woke up two days ago thinking about the way my Grandpop Tom sounded when he called us “chickadee.” He was an aeronautical engineer who spent World War II repairing airplanes on base in Morocco until the war was over. But I remember him differently (as a child might) since we lost him to cancer…

  • Dream Logic

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    I’ve been having weird and vivid dreams lately, which is one of my favorite things. What makes them more frequent? We know increased REM sleep is usually the main thing. When our sleep cycles are consistent, this can happen. Another cause can be stress or anxiety, or even sleep disorders that make a person wake…

  • Christmas was

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    a deep, muted navy blue carpet,soft under my feet and cheeks.