I’ve been having weird and vivid dreams lately, which is one of my favorite things. What makes them more frequent?
We know increased REM sleep is usually the main thing. When our sleep cycles are consistent, this can happen. Another cause can be stress or anxiety, or even sleep disorders that make a person wake up and recall their dreams more often. Then there are people who are naturally creative or experience heightened emotions; they tend to dream more frequently because of their need to process.
I doubt I’ve covered all the possibilities in one neat paragraph. I wonder where I fall. I’d like to think it’s as simple (and as healthy) as increased REM.
My dream last night was only vivid at one point. I remember the sidewalk in a nice, manicured Florida neighborhood. I recall the sun against the bluest sky, and how green everything looked. I was walking with my cousin, who is very important to me in my waking life, and honestly, I’m putting that lightly. I saw a family ahead, but the one person who stood out was the wife.
She was my friend from high school. I went up to her to hug her, but I could sense her stiffening. She was all formality and politeness. She didn’t introduce me to her husband or her kids, who I recognized from us still being connected on social media. She kept walking.
I looked at my cousin, and she just shrugged.
“Let’s go in her house,” I said.
My cousin didn’t hesitate, as if we had permission. When we walked in, we saw her little sister. In this dream scenario, her sister hadn’t changed. She was still a middle schooler with full cheeks and a round belly. She walked past me as if I were a ghost. But her mother saw me. Her mother was in her bedroom, not fully dressed in a black t-shirt and black underwear.
“Chrissy!” she shrieked. “What the hell are you doing in here? Get the fuck out. GET OUT!”
I grabbed my cousin’s hand, and we ran.
When I woke up, I made a note to remember it. Now that I’m writing about it, I think it was something I was indeed emotionally processing.
That friendship back in high school was intense. Things happened in her house—or more specifically, in her presence—that hurt me. I don’t think I’d even feel comfortable writing about it outside of a diary.
It makes sense that it lives inside my subconscious, ready to bring up unresolved emotions tied to my friend’s dismissal (a nod to how I often felt unseen, vulnerable, and excluded) and her hostile, unsettling mother (a nod to never feeling completely safe in her home).
Then I think of my cousin’s role. Grabbing her hand. My cousin is a calm and unquestioning companion in this dream, and she is in real life. She symbolizes inner strength; both mine and hers.
Dreams allow us to explore so much of ourselves if we let them. They uncover the things we push away.
Maybe it’s fitting that I write about one the day after David Lynch passed away. The ultimate figure for dreaming, he described them as pure emotion and created timeless pieces of art that revolved around them in a way no one else could.
So, I’ll tie up this unworthy piece with a quote from him:
“I love dream logic. I think it’s a beautiful thing. It’s not nonsense. It’s things connected in a way you can’t explain, but somehow, they connect.”
(Daily Writing 005)
Thoughts?