Contravention

every vibration is a
goddamn squeeze
to the heart
when I'm here
and I am stupid.

I used to think it was only me,
having the feelings,
but baby
you're the black waves 
and I'm the air that 
wants to churn them.

you’re not my baby.
this lives in a choice
I couldn't make,
one where I was normal
and understanding.

it was 
an oil painting
covered in thick, 
dripping, 
dark lines,
spiraling every which way.

shame rides this weightless body.

please, please
make me laugh.
show me
that you’ll stay on your shore
but keep looking.

(Daily Writing 084)